Wellness Wednesday: How To Notice And Stop Self-Sabotage

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Whether it is conscious or unconsciously done, some people undermine their own selves and end up self-sabotaging to hinder their own success. Taking these destructive steps can harm and negatively impact relationships, career, and more; therefore, I have put together steps to notice and stop yourself from self-sabotaging, so read on for more information on this.

Self-sabotage can manifest in many different behaviours, unique to each person, but there are some common and recurring examples to help you spot those:

  • You may “forget” or “fail to prepare for” a deadline, a presentation, or anything else that can affect performance. For example, at work when you are constantly late or procrastinate.
  • Starting projects but never finishing them, being unable to proceed even when presented with a good opportunity.
  • Sometimes you have the skill but you do not believe you are able to go on, so you stop doing a task or an action because you feel that you simply cannot.
  • Negative self-talk is a big sign, when you feel that you are inadequate or unworthy of success.

One of the key reasons why people self-sabotage is due to a lack of self-esteem. “This can have many different causes, but the effects are the same: feelings of worthlessness or incompetence, the belief that you don’t deserve success, and even self-hatred.”

If you would like to read on reasons why people self-sabotage, then click HERE for more information by verywellmind.

Here are ways to stop yourself from self-sabotaging:

  • Recognise – notice what behaviours you are doing that has a self-sabotaging effect on you
  • Understand the emotions – why do you feel you are doing this?
  • Spot the thought or belief – emotions occur from a thought or a belief, so connect your emotions to the core where they came from, and find what you are thinking that led you to the behaviour
  • Change behaviour/thought/emotion – try to replace this with something else. For example, changing your perspective or proving yourself wrong
  • Develop self-supporting behaviour/thought/emotion instead – if you ever feel or think something again that you know can lead to self-sabotaging behaviour, then this time you can prepare yourself and put in place an action or activity to support yourself

If you are in the UK, speaking to organisations like The Samaritans can be very helpful: Call 116 123 for help, or write an email to, you can also visit their website HERE. For those in other parts of the world, please use a search engine to find helplines and/or websites that offer advice and information on mental health and wellbeing ­– most organisations offer confidential and safe environments for you.